Meeting My Dad, I borrowed a truck from my new boss to come the way from Austin to Ruidoso and find you so I could tell you how you Fuckup my life? You made me who I was. Did I borrow a truck to come the entire way from Austin to Ruidoso and find you an alcoholic and drug addict? I hated God; why would he put any children with you as their dad. I went through too many wives and jobs. I said it to him with no fear of handing him the blame for how I am. I borrowed a truck to come from Austin to Ruidoso and find you
When my dad listened to me across a small table with his hands together in a very peaceful manner, listing every word I spoke to him and when I stopped, he paused for a short minute and said. “Son, it looks like you have learned a lot, I am so happy for you. But let’s see, you are thirty years old, a grown man and your knowledge has grown, now son, what do you think you should do about this”?
What he said to me at that moment will never be forgotten. He has hit me with fists, and hateful words, and now these words, the truth of all truths that I could ever receive. The minutes from that moment on, my dad planted a seed into my soul that began with silent roots finding and taking hold to stay. I finally was able to talk, but I didn’t know how to say that I love him, so I said that I should be leaving back to Austin because it was a long drive. He understood, we shook hands like two men just finishing a transaction. But for me, the roots were growing more, and germination was feeding the Plant. The strength of it all made my heart open, first with hours of weeping. I am waiting for my new schooling to come up. Based on my past, for the new coming. For the damages ingoings, I did to my dad, even if he did need it. For the grief and joy. These are the waters that my dad gave me that day.
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